I feel like a failure in this swinging LS. It is so hard for me to find anyone other than my husband(we only play together) that I am heavily sexually attracted to. It's not easy to do, because I look for different things, and it seems like we're never going to play with someone (that I can choose) because I'm so picky. Base attraction is hard for me because it's not enough to just turn me on... it initiates the attraction - but it's not enough to make me want to jump in bed with them. I like to talk to people and look for something to like about the person/people, get comfortable with them, get to know them and then kind of ease into it. Now for my husband, once he gets through the vetting process with them - it's easy for him to be able to go, "Yeah, I'd like to fuck those 2!" (Things I have never said for a $1000, Alex.) Hubby does the main search, vetting and planning process for us. I look too, and hubby has told me to let him know when I find somebody I want us to play with - and I told him that I would let him know. In 5 years there's only been one(a lovely lady, which he vetted, that was at the very beginning of when we started swinging) and even then it was more compersive than it was outright sexual attraction. What are some things that I can do to help the process of being able to pick and choose, because I feel like a failure at swinging...