My wife and I got a little tipsy at brunch recently and the topic of swinging came up. We'd never really talked about it before - probably because I was under the impression from comments she'd made that she wasn't interested, and apparently she had gotten a similar impression from me. When she mentioned it at brunch, I just said I wasn't opposed to the idea, and she seemed shocked.

We talked about it for a bit, and the more we got into it, the more she was saying she was up for trying things - her playing with another woman, MFF threesomes, swapping with another couple. I didn't have a lot of sexual partners before my wife, so naturally I was getting excited at the idea of trying all these new things and made it clear to her that anything she was interested in trying, I was also interested in, as long as it was something we both wanted.

A couple days later, sober, she walked most of that back. She said she was worried that my interest in swinging meant that I was interested in other women, bored with her or with our sex life. That's not the case at all, and I did my best to emphasize that I was only interested in trying things she was interested in. If she's not into something, it takes the fun out of it for me too.

We left it at that for a week or so, and then it came up again one afternoon while we were in the pool. It was more light-hearted, and I reminded her of something that happened to us back before COVID: We'd gone to a bar after a nice dinner date, all dressed up, and another couple had started chatting us up. After a few drinks, my wife and the other woman ended up making out at the bar, and when they'd closed out their tab, they had invited us to come with them. Fortunately/unfortunately my wife was too drunk to catch on to what was going on at that point, and I just took her home.

I guess she didn't really remember all that, but after I told her the story about how that couple was definitely trying to do something with us, she seemed flattered and said that if she'd been more cognizant of things then, she would have gone with it. She said she still wasn't interested in seeking out a couple to swing with or anyone we know, but if it was something that just happened organically like that, she'd be up for it.

That's where things stand, and I'm not really sure what to do with that. It seems like the consensus here is that people meet other swingers through sites or organized events - is swinging with strangers you happen to meet at bars something that actually happens? Is this a fantasy I should just put to rest, or is this something I should keep talking to her about?