I’m bi AF and living my best life. I’m divorced and considerably wiser than when I was first exploring the lifestyle in my post-college years. Strangely, things were so much easier during that phase because I was super DL. So any couples I talked to for threesome fun, it was strictly focused on her. Good times!

Now that I’m openly bi, I am surprised at how difficult it has become. First, the scene where I’m at was rampantly homophobic not too long ago, so the ripple effects are still emanating. No guy on any traditional swinger-friendly platform (not the new apps) is openly bi, despite me knowing for a fact that many are, or are at least curious. So that contributes to the second problem, which is the hidden agenda problem. Rather than guys just being openly bi and direct about what they want, couples with a much less attractive guy are now constantly playing this game where they withhold their true intentions and try to spring on me bi play at the very last min. It’s weird AF and I would never do that to anyone. Of course, once I politely say no if he’s not my type, well then there goes the night and any possible friendship.

I’m totally fine with straight MFM threesomes, but again, because of the ripple effects of problem 1, many aren’t into openly bi guys. So I just long for a time where everyone can be whatever they want to be, not be judged for it, and not feel you have to deploy sneaky tactics to get something you want because for whatever reason, you can’t just be transparent about it from the get go. It happens so often that I don’t even bother talking to couples unless I find both of them attractive, regardless of what they’re looking for. I feel weird thinking this way being bi myself, but hot damn.