My wife and I first dabbled in the lifestyle in 2020, starting off as exhibitionists, and began actively swapping with other couples in 2022. We recently connected with a couple via Feeid. I had a great time with the other man's wife, but he became so nervous that he wasn't able to perform as we had anticipated. This isn't a new problem for us. On at least six different occasions, we've encountered men who get too anxious to fully participate, which often leaves my wife feeling unsatisfied and makes the situation feel unjust. I'm interested in hearing your advice or similar experiences on how to handle these situations.

I'm not a stranger to nerves myself, but I've been getting better at managing it. Using mushrooms in a controlled way has really helped me.

This all takes me back to when I was single and would be the third wheel in a threesome, usually while the husband just watched. Many of those guys were nervous too, and that's why they wanted a third person involved. I'm keen to hear from others who've had similar experiences or have advice on handling these situations. Just to be clear, I'm not the kind of guy who just sits and watches.

My wife doesn't go for other women. She reckons some women in our group claim they're into women to make things feel safer and to avoid making their husbands jealous. I can understand her point, but it doesn't feel quite right. From what I've seen, about 85% of the single women I've met in this lifestyle prefer men, while some do like women as well.

I'm really interested in what you all think. How do you deal with nerves? How do you manage your partner's preferences in the swinging lifestyle? Any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated