I started my journey in the swinger environment when I was very young in Latin America. My experiences ranged from threesomes where the husband only watched, to participating in orgies. These experiences allowed me to explore my sexuality, but also left me with a feeling of emptiness. Over the years, I had several partners, many of whom I met in this environment. I even dated married women, but in the long run, these relationships fed a sense of emptiness and difficulties in managing my emotions.

I met my wife at a swinger club, and after four years of marriage, we decided to share our relationship with others. This path has been like a roller coaster of emotions and jealousy. As a Latino, I sometimes feel my machismo surfacing, especially when my wife flirts or asks for phone numbers without consulting me beforehand. This makes me jealous, but at the same time, it is also exciting. However, I struggle with an attachment issue that feels devastating to me.

We have participated in some swaps and, although I enjoy seeing how my wife has fun during the swap, I am still dealing with certain internal conflicts. It may be that my past experiences with threesomes and having been with many women are influencing my current perception.

About 12 years ago, I moved to the United States and realized that my relationships were somewhat atypical, dating married women or much older women and without establishing a deep emotional connection. Now, as a married swinger, I find the experience exciting, but at the same time, I am uncomfortable losing control. I notice that in the United States people are very independent, which sometimes disconcerts me.

Another issue we have faced is that the men of the couples we interact with are not always to her liking, something my wife does not enjoy. We have tried sites like Feeld, where people tend to be more attractive, as well as ENM and Hacienda, where swapping is not practiced and it's more of a place for casual hookups. My wife enjoys these places because people tend to be quite attractive.

I find myself in the midst of this conflict and am looking for some advice. I am especially interested in knowing if there are interracial couples who have experienced similar situations. I appreciate any guidance you can provide in advance.