I (27F) am really into the idea of having sex at clubs, around other people doing the same thing. My spouse (36M) has some trauma from childhood that makes him averse to being exposed in public.

He likes the idea of being with me at clubs and possibly eventually involving other people/couples into playing with us. But in practice, there have been many times where we show up to a club, hang out, and he could never get comfortable and we’d just go home, which causes a lot of sexual frustration for me. He wants to continue trying to visit clubs and hopefully work up his comfort level.

If you ever felt shy getting into the lifestyle or have similar experiences, how did you overcome it? I'd love to know if there is anyway i can help him become more comfortable.