This past weekend, my girlfriend and I found ourselves at a local swingers club, surrounded by an open area featuring four beds pushed together. As per our usual routine, we began engaging in intimate play in front of everyone present (20 people).

Across from us, there was a group occupying one of the beds. My girlfriend had earlier shared a kiss with one of the females and kissed the other girls chest during swinger Jenga. Intrigued, I extended an invitation to both of them to join us. Together, the four of us played, ensuring consent at every step of the way.

At one point, I noticed a couple of guys standing directly behind my girlfriend while she was pleasuring her dream girl. Initially, I assumed they were merely observing. Engrossed in my own encounter with an attractive and curvaceous woman, it took me a while to realize that one of the men was actually on his knees, engaging in oral activities with my girlfriend from behind.

I had assumed that he had obtained consent, so I gave it a couple of minutes. However, a nagging thought kept running through my mind: did he actually ask for consent? Seeking clarity, I leaned over and asked my girlfriend if this person had indeed sought her consent. To my dismay, she said no. Unaware that he was someone from outside our group, she was caught off guard. Without hesitation, I shoved the man by his shoulder and confronted him with an intensity akin to a thousand suns.

Mindful of not wanting to jeopardize our standing in the club, I firmly told him to leave, but he kept retreating only a foot or so, insisting that he was fine. Frustrated and just seconds away from physically removing him and dealing with the consequences, the girl I had just been intimate with suddenly intervened, got dressed and urged him to go with her. I later realized that he was the partner of the girl I had been playing with and had invited himself to our gathering while engaging with the other two girls in the adjacent bed.

Although I have zero sympathy for his actions, I can empathize with why he may have attempted to engage without consent. Consent is of utmost importance to us, and while I am deeply upset by what happened, I can't help but feel that I failed in that moment. It is troubling me greatly, even though my girlfriend, focused on her pleasurable experience with the other girl, was incredibly happy and appreciative that I took a stand and expressed my disgust towards him and didn’t back down until he removed himself.

The thought of not being able to protect her from such situations continues to weigh heavily on my mind, and it is causing significant distress.

TLDR: While at a swingers club, my girlfriend and I were playing in front of others. I noticed a man engaging in sexual activities with my girlfriend without consent. I confronted him intensely and he eventually left. Although my girlfriend was happy I stood up for her, I feel like I failed in protecting her. Consent is crucial to us, and the incident continues to upset me.