[Long post alert]

Me (29) and my wife (28) are a Brazilian couple, and a few months ago we went to a Swing Club in Sao Paulo for the first time and I just wanted to share the experience.

For context, a while ago we decided to open up our marriage under a few specific circunstantes. We're allowed to hook up alone with other unknown people in clubs, parties and similar contexts, but no sex. When it comes to sex we're interested in exploring it together, mainly threesomes male and female, but we also consider swapping.

So a few months ago we decided to go to Code Club, a local swing club reported to be less hardcore, more similar to ordinary nightclubs and with a younger crowd, closer to our own age. But for our first time we didn't want to swap or hook up with anyone else, we we're hoping we could make out on the dancefloor and then when things started to get hot we would find a private cabin and have sex in a more or less public space, explore a little bit of exhibitionism.

So we enjoyed the dancefloor, despite being a little less crowded than we had hoped, it was fun and there was a nice sense of freedom about the people there. Things were going more or less how we expected, but when we went to the dark rooms that was when things started to get bad.

For starters, the dark rooms were the opposite of the dance floor in the sense that they were too crowded and it was very difficult to find empty cabins. Second there were no rooms without glory holes or places for people to interact, which was not what we were looking for. Third we found people disrespectful and not at all concerned with consent.

The first time we went to the dark rooms we entered the only empty cabin we could find, it could only be closed by a curtain. so we closed it and expected that we would be alone, but a single man suddenly entered and started watching. We didn't stop, so he approached and tried to touch my wife's butt, despite we saying no, which ended with me having to push him and totally ruining the mood.

We went to the dancefloor for a while and then decided to give another go at the darkrooms, this time we went for another room in the back which had solid doors with a lock so we thought things like that wouldn't happen again. We were enjoying it, but as I said all the rooms had holes and soon a man appeared trying to interact, he was putting his arm out and trying to touch my wife, we stayed out of reach and said no, but he insisted on asking for her to come closer. I suddenly see a light turning on in his direction, which looked like a cellphone, I yelled "no cellphones" and the man quickly got up and left.

Our mood was ruined again and we decided to leave.

So it was not a good first experience. Although we enjoyed the dancefloor and we enjoyed parts of the experience on the dark rooms the unwanted interaction kind of ruined the rest for me. While researching the place and the swinger scene I was always told that it was ok not to participate and that people were usually respectful of consent. Well that was not my experience.

Although I was excited for experiencing swing clubs, this first time left me questioning if I want to try this again.

Anyway, I just wanted to share... Any thoughts, comments or tips?