TLDR: If you had to put a percentage on your experiences ... how many play partners/couples are "one and dones" vs. those with real connection and relationship.

My wife and I are well established in the Kink Community, primarily as BDSM players, and on many occasions have played involving others to varying degrees. On a scale of 1 to 10 our BDSM is about a 4, maybe a 5 at times, more sensual. Although much of BDSM is sexual, it's not the primary thing. I can "Top" someone as what's called a "service top" without any real "connection".

We've been thinking it would be nice to try more of a pure swinging type relationship, but when it comes to actual sex we are both pretty Demi-sexual needing the relationship and connection. I get that we can frequent a club, and become "regulars", making friends ... but for the most part is that realistic ?? Will most couple "be out" when we want to go slow?

We have visited and played by ourselves at a swingers club several times. We enjoyed it as my wife has an exhibitionist streak, but when we were approached it was often a vibe of "you wanna F" and that's just not us. Should we keep trying ??

If you had to put a percentage on your experience ... how many play partners/couples are "one and dones" vs. those with real connection and relationship.