Based on some comments on previous posts of ours and others, it has come to my attention that some men actually resent women running the lifestyle and/or the attention women in the lifestyle receive compared to men. Why is this?

Let me start by saying I absolutely love the boost in self-confidence my wife has received thus far from our experiences. She is able to express her sexuality and embrace the empowerment she has always deserved. Her inner goddess is able to shine through the cloud of insecurities and judgment women in this world typically receive for expressing their sexuality. That in itself makes me happy.

Despite how myself and many others feel, it has become evident that some men don't feel the same way. Is it true that men have less potential matches in the lifestyle than women? Yes. Is it true that a man will most likely have to put forth more effort than a woman to pursue someone they are interested in? Also, yes. While there are actually more women in the US than men, there are significantly more openly non-monogamous men than openly non-monogamous women. Now, why is that? That's the really question.

Let's push all the surface issues men experience to the side for a moment and get to the root of this problem. Society as a whole has for a long time given straight men complete control of their sexual identity and desires. For us, it is accepted and encouraged. When a man leaves a party after having sex with multiple women that night, he is greeted with high fives and congratulations. Women on the other hand have had a very different experience. For them, society, media, upbringing, and culture have highly impacted their perception of their own sexual identity. From a young age it is ingrained into their minds that they are to find a man, settle down, get married, and be a housewife. This has been changing, but not fast enough. Anything from bisexuality to promiscuous behavior is frowned upon for women in many cultures around the world. It is showcased in not just media, but everyday life. If a woman goes to the same party as the man I discussed earlier and has sex with multiple men that night, she is more likely to be called a slut and degraded for her behavior than receive high fives and congratulations. This slut-shaming culture can cause women to push down their own sexual desires and sexual identity. How can you expect an upbringing or even a lifetime of this type of agenda being pushed into the forefront of their minds to encourage an openly non-monogamous mindset? Now, pair that with the fact that 1 in 6 women have dealt with some form of sexual assault throughout their lives. Is it surprising to you that women want to spend more time communicating and building trust before engaging in sexual activity? Absolutely not!

So when a man acts like the real problem here is the effort he has to put forth to find sexual partners or that women finally have an outlet where they can feel free to express their sexual energy, I find it outlandish and petty compared to the sexual oppression women have experienced throughout their lives. Have some compassion, behave in a way that makes women feel comfortable, focus your energy on making the world a better place for women to express their own sexuality, and maybe, just maybe, you will find more and more women feeling safe and secure with being openly non-monogamous.

But anyway, sorry for the rant. It just needed to be said. If you are a woman reading this post, embrace your inner goddess, own your sexuality, and find your happy! You deserve it!

Sincerely, The husband of a goddess