We had this as a response to another post and wanted to get thoughts:

So, totally our opinion and experience, we describe 3 primary sectors in the ENM community: 1. Swinging 2. Kink 3. Polyamory. This is not the end-all be-all, but an easy way to visualize the venn diagram.

1. Swinging: The focus tends to be on sex, oral, PIV, whatever. It can be/feel more transactional with lower levels of consent.
2. Kink: The focus is on the experience, whether it is as a top, bottom, or observer. It doesn't have to be sexual, but it can be sensual. You can top a rope scene, bottom, or watch and feel "Something" but it might not be pure sexual. There are plenty of tops and bottoms that don't engage in sexual activities, but they do scenes and sensual touching. Because activities can be life/safety/well being dangerous, the levels of consent are much more detailed and talked about.
3. Polyamory: The focus is on the relationship, deeper connections. Can be exclusive, or some form of exclusivity. (One partner is exclusive, another has freedom)

So, when we look at our universe, there are a lot of crossover people, and a lot of "pure" people. We know kinksters that swing, but don't do poly. We know poly people that are into kinks, but don't swing, etc.

If you were raised in the kink world, you will be very heavy consent focused. We have heard from swingers that it's "too much". "Can I touch your breast, I liked that, you? Can I touch your pussy now?..etc."

BUT if you were raised in a swinger world, where sometimes consent is more unspoken, (you lay next to a couple in an orgy room and kind of raise an eyebrow and get a head nod, maybe a grunt of approval) then kinksters will see you as crossing lines more easily because you didn't specifically ask for and receive verbal consent to do that thing.

As we learned more in the kink world, our approach to swinging consent changed for the better. We now vet better, communicate with our play partners better, etc. When we were coming up as newer participants we watched, received, and gave less consent, so it wasn't always informed and enthusiastic.