When the husbands are more complimentary of me than their wives it’s a major red flag. Husbands who love how their wives look while they’re fucking turn everyone in the room on. Husbands lusting after the other guys’ wife are gross and uncomfortable. Play the game for her and you’ll get what you want from everyone.

This probably needs its own thread but the red flag (probably not a strong enough word for it, maybe I should say electric fence?) is when I explain how I prefer to engage — ESPECIALLY SOLO — and men try to negotiate.

If I’m playing away from him with an unknown I take a picture of their ID and send to my husband so they know who I’m with. Sometimes they want a picture of mine - that’s fine. I’ve been afraid for my safety at some of the reactions to this that I’ve got from prospective bulls ONLINE! If you’re going to intimidate me and negotiate with me and tell me how my concerns are valid but not with you (because you’re different, really) that’s a red flag ;)

I think it’s about respect. If I play in my way and I have my system and you want to convince me I’m wrong - red flag. If you think it’s my husbands system and your strategy is to tell me he’s an idiot and he’s wrong - red flag.

Basically if it’s not exactly what I want to do the. I think red flag. There’s no need to negotiate when you have a great sex life and a strong marriage. All of the rest of this is a bonus. It’s additive.

Negotiating having fun is less fun and that’s a red flag.