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I posed a question in a swinging group chat for an upcoming cruise regarding how to go about talking to to other play partners or couples about STDs before play, and got absolutely ridiculed stating that if we are so risk-averse, the Swing LS is not the place to be.
We come from Poly / ENM which has significantly more open communication. But what was concluded here is that it is NEVER OR Rarely discussed, protection is very optional for many, and it's all based on the honor system (if you are in the lifestyle then you must get tested a lot too, so no one worries). It seems the whole subject really ruffled feathers.
I shared even how some strategies like use of gloves before fisting is a good strategy we have employed prior to such kinks, and people thought this concept was absolutely ridiculous and we are absolutely "not meant" to be in here (Despite rationalizing regarding fingernails, better lubrication, and possibly blood-to-blood cut protection). Searching this reddit, I even see others saying that gloves are NEVER used for fisting and it's pretty silly and hypochondria-like. Are gloves really that frowned upon? [this feels rather contrary to the fet community]
Within the group they also said that by asking others before playing, you are not making anything less risky, as everyone would just lie. I mentioned how we would be absolutely forthcoming regarding past Mono, Meningitis, HSV-1 or HSV-2, and let the other person decide if that's a greenlight or not, but they basically said that no one is going to be that transparent and it's a waste of time, and risks pissing other off.
This seems really surprising to us to hear such loosely regarded care for STDs and judgments for those that do are basically not fit for this area.
Yikes. Idk where you guys are at but that is not the norm In our city and culture. Havenāt met a single person in our lifestyle experiences that reacts adversely to talks of safety and respect. People who do donāt get far or find much success in our community.
Yeah you and I agree more than not. Balanced perspective is definitely ideal. I was just trying to swing the pendulum in the other direction a bit after scrolling through and seeing nothing but negative takes about how apathetic the entire swinger community is at first.a sentiment i whole heartedly disagree with.
Youāre extrapolating too far. But yeah, personally, Iād much rather be an optimist and choose to focus on the positive experiences instead of letting the negative ones define my reality. My life has been significantly better in every way since I started practicing this.
Best of luck to ya!
Yep š typical of any community really, especially once it hits Reddit or other community opinion gathering space.
āThe negativity bias,[1] also known as the negativity effect, is a cognitive bias that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature (e.g. unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or social interactions; harmful/traumatic events) have a greater effect on one's psychological state and processes than neutral or positive thingsā
People in here are focusing on the negative experiences theyāve had and using them to make blanket statements about the community as a whole
Our experiences directly contrast yours. Happy to provide our data
Beware the horror of seeing things positively
The negativity bias is strong in this post
Donāt listen to this just person. Consider their opinion but get others as well. They have a very negative view of things and it skews their opinion.
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Yeah Iād highly suggest not fucking people who donāt respect your desire to talk about these things. Seems wildly irresponsible for people to shy away from these conversations given the nature of the interactions theyāre trying to have. Huge red flag that someone said āwell Iād just lie about it if someone askedā. Those people should be avoided at all costs.