My boyfriend and I have been in the Lifestyle for about 2 years (dating for almost 5). We haven't had many encounters at all, as we were both new to it and really feeling things out. We'd mainly go to clubs to spectate and whatnot.

Recently, my bf has started to have a problem with alcohol consumption. He has a lot of other life stressors going on. He also has some underlying insecurities. The last few LS instances we had, resulted in him getting very intoxicated and treating me negatively. This has never been an issue before in our relationship but it was enough to make me lose a lot of trust in him. He's blacked out during these events and has barely any recollection. I told him I an not comfortable pursuing anything LS related (since these seem to be a trigger with the insecurities and alcohol lately) until we figure out and solve the underlying issues. I told him I think it would be best if we took a break from the LS. He agreed.

I recently logged into our SLS app and saw that despite our conversation, he has still been messaging other couples and singles the whole time. The action of him talking to other people there doesn't bother me; it just makes me feel like our conversation earlier wasn't really respected. Like what I said and asked for wasn't taken seriously. We agreed to step away from everything. I'm not sure if I am being a bit insecure or what. I think I'd be fine with it if he at least mentioned it to me first. So I figured I'd ask others how they felt here.

I tried posting this in regular relationship advice forms and it didn't go over well because everyone just focused on how it's wrong that we are swingers instead of the actual issue at hand, so I felt it best to get advice from like-minded folk.

Thank you!