Here is the scene: Went to a couples only house party last weekend with an indoor pool and upstairs a 6 person HotTub. We looked at the attendee list and communicated with some folks in advance. One guy, Mike, seemed smitten with my partner and he followed my partner around closely all night. Mikes wife was sitting at a table with friends and he said she was concerned about an ailing family member and did not engage with us.

I loved seeing him make my partner aroused in the pool and hottub. I chatted with some guys and ladies, mostly non sexual stuff and was having a good time.

At the end of the night, my partner and I tried out the sex swing, we left the door open and as I was performing oral, mike just walked over and started playing with her breasts. No asking.

So I wondered if he should have asked.?

Later in our makeup sex, she said he tried to penetrate her in when she was sitting on his lap in the hot tub. And tried to fuck her in the bathroom when they were making out. She indicated she was going to blow him but he spilled a beer, needed to clean it up and others were trying to use the room.

As we had discussed, no hard swapping yet, condoms only, prior consent from each partner.

I felt he crossed a line by trying to fuck her raw, she felt it was less of an issue because she was handling it by saying no.

I reached out to Mike and said I was offended he knew our profile and his reply was he offered her a chance to tell him he went too far.

I said ya gotta get consent. Any woman I kissed or fondled or had her stroke me, I asked in advance.

So, as a newbie, am I too harsh?