I’m a pretty oblivious guy sometimes. Recently I stayed at a past coworkers house. She is older than me and married. I wasn’t expecting to stay there, but I was in town and we met for dinner to catch up, she ended up inviting me to stay at her place and she kept going on about her hot tub. (Honestly the more I think about this, the denser I feel) I very obviously did not have any trunks to partake in the hot tub. I realized after the fact that hot tubs can be a tell for swinging, but I’m also aware many tells / dog whistles are accidental. Could there have been other things that could have further confirmed this? How might I have inquired about that in a way that shows “I know”. Of course I have no intention of pursuing a married person whose partner isn’t onboard.

I’m also asking because I am looking at exploring and being more open myself. I’m trying to learn how to navigate these things but not being oblivious is not my strong suit. I appreciate any thoughts on this scenario and any advice you may have for me.