TL/DR: We are a younger couple looking to expand into myself (M) playing with others while she watches. She gets a lot of attention at the club while I don’t, and I don’t know how to gain the confidence to approach women at the club.

My girlfriend and I met in the lifestyle. She was in an open marriage, and our first date was to a swingers club. Since she has gotten a divorce and we now live together.

We are 25 and 27, and I would say we are generally attractive.

I have long hair, a mustache, tattoos, and dress well.

My girlfriend is very thick, and gets A LOT of attention for the size of her butt, both from men and women, and generally on busy nights in the club (100 couples) there may be one or two women there that have similar sized butts to her. She is also very attractive, professional, and has well done tattoos.

For some people this would be perfect for them, as they get off on attention being paid to their partner, but for our current dynamic it leads to me feeling more insecure.

Our previous dynamic has always been strictly girl on girl play, or MFF with oral only, but she has recently taken a strong interest in watching me with another woman. I am absolutely on board with this, but I struggle to put myself out there, and I feel like there’s a number of reasons I feel this way.

1). Whenever we interact with other couples or women, the attention always feels to be on my girlfriend and this makes me feel as if there is little to no interest in myself. Considering that right now we are only interested in her watching me with someone else, this makes me feel like I don’t have a shot.

2). I tend to believe that most couples are strictly looking for both partners to swap or for just the ladies to play. I don’t really know how true this, and may just be a lie I tell myself.

3). We are usually one of the youngest couples in the club, and for some reason this intimidates me. For most men a younger woman is appealing, but for women a younger male doesn’t seem to appeal to them, but I know this isn’t necessarily true in the lifestyle, but I fear that women in the 30s range will have no interest.

How would you go about gaining confidence in approaching couples? I know for a fact that if the confidence is there then we are bound to have a good time based on feedback we receive, but it’s still something I struggle with.