We are wondering if any of you share our experience. We’ve been in the lifestyle for over ten years, with a few gaps owing to family responsibilities. We got started by going to a large club and after a few visits, we took the plunge. Following that we had a period where we used SLS and Kasidie to identify and meet couples we found interesting and would schedule playdates and attend house parties. After the COVID hiatus, which for us included a move to a new state, we have more or less shifted our lifestyle activities to a couple of regularly organized monthly house parties, meet and greets, and the occasional visit to a club. Although we haven’t done it yet, we’re also interested in a resort or cruise. The reason we did this is that we find that the conversation and group texting that goes along with couple-on-couple dating has a pretty short window of being sexy and exciting for us. It seems like a lot of people we “dated” really like to get close with their play partners pretty quickly. Early on we had two couples invite us to vanilla parties where their parents and kids were present. While fun, we really found that to have a cooling effect on the relationships. We find that keeping the relationships we form based strictly on sex and fun keeps them hot far longer than if the subjects of conversation invariably drift to more pedestrian topics like matters of family and day-to-day life. We do have lifestyle friends that we’ve played with several times, but the interaction with them is pretty much limited to attending the same parties and events. Of course everyone's experience is subjective and different configurations suit different people, but are we in a minority in that we prefer to stay in that “sweet spot” where we keep a little mystery and novelty in our lifestyle relationships?