Okay, so this one is a bit complicated, and might ramble a bit, but I'm looking to rant a bit about one-sided group chats.

We've been in the LS for about 1.5yrs now, met some great people and had some great fun. We like to start on the apps, have a bit of conversation/pic exchange/flirting to start, then meet pretty soon after to gauge mutual interest before play. This has worked pretty well for us, and has helped weed out single guys posing as couples, unicorn hunters, and fakes.

I've noticed a bit of a pattern though, in that the majority of all communication comes from their male-half of the couple. This seems to be pretty much across the board, from intros to early chats, to post-meet, to post-play.

This is REALLY frustrating to me as the male-half of our couple because nearly all the "group" chat is dominated by their male-half chatting with my wife. When I try to engage their female half, I get basic/short responses if anything at all. When we meet up for drinks, she/they say it's mostly because she is so busy/not a big chatter/whatever and the conversation during the meet-up is fine. We play, everyone has fun and is included, and it's all good fun.

In-between meet-ups, any chatting is again dominated by their male-half/my wife. Any attempts by me to engage their female half are again back to basic/short answers if anything at all. Once in a while, they seem to be in a chatting mood and we have a great chat, but it's rare.

I've spoken to my wife about this, and she thinks that their female-half is just not into chatting/busy taking care of the kids/whatever. I'm pretty good at terrible jokes, witty humor and I'm okay at small talk, so in-person I can make just about anybody laugh, and it's always a good time with great conversations.

It's just a pattern I've seen where out of all the couples we've ever chatted with, whether its early stages or after meet-up/play - I've had meaningful chats with only a couple, and a reliable chat with only 1.

I don't know that anyone can really help me with this, maybe it's just a rant. It's just frustrating trying to be engaged and feel included/desired when you have no meaningful involvement between meet-ups.

Am I missing something? Is this common for one-half of your couple to have less involvement in the group chat part of the dynamic?

To be clear - I love that my wife has this. She is a big tease and often keeps the group chat going, it's sexy AF to enjoy, I just wish there was more group engagement I guess.