To be honest, I’m not really a newbie to swinging myself, I would see myself as well experienced - but I’m totally feeling like one.

Me and my future wife are (both in 30s) swingers since day one, we met over a swingers platform and have been together since almost 6 years.

My Problem is, that almost every party experience we had was a complete Desaster and ended in an argue or someone really having a bad time afterwards (mainly me), and I tell you why:

I would say I’m a handsome guy, with an attractive face and a body which is okay (but working hard on it to get the abs). Unfortunately I don’t have tattoos, which I feel is somewhat of a disadvantage in swinging…working on that as well but not only because of swinging... Besides that I’m a successful guy with many other interesting/ poisitive personality aspects as well. And the girls, especially the ones in the swinging community, IF I fucked them, oh my god almost every single one of them wanted so much more of me…

So, I could be self confident all over the place? Yeah nope, I’m not. In fact I’m the complete opposite.

Every time on parties, I feel like a complete loser and Idiot, comparing me to all the other guys, got the feeling that no one of the girls is thinking I’m attractive or interested in me. i'm feeling like the guy no one wants to fuck with for some reason.

Then I see my girl, getting hooked up and fucked by another guy (which I would genuinely feel proud and happy for her), but then (if I got hooked up as well) i look at my limp dick (which is usually rock hard), or if not I just stand there seeing my girl getting pounded and feeling just pure pain and nothing else.

It’s not because of her having fun, it’s because i don’t. Either because I’m to stupid (or whatever) to hook up a girl because of missing self confidence or because of a limp dick which makes me unable to fuck another girl.

I don’t have this kind of issues at couple dates, only at parties.

I like swinging, and I like the parties and I don’t want to live without it anymore - but those experiences are so painful for me, that I really can’t enjoy the lifestyle anymore. Maybe at one of 10 parties I’m having I really good time and enjoying myself and enjoying seeing my girl playing with other guys. The rest is just painful and frustrating for me.

I’m sorry if it’s kind of unstructured or some bits missing, I was just writing what came to my mind. feel free to ask questions.

I hope someone can share their experiences and can help me with my problem.

Thank you in advance ❤️