We have been together 15 years and over the past 6 months have started to explore different things, including the idea of others. My wife found a woman online who she is developing a quick bond with and they have so much in common. We just so happen to be vacationing next month where they live. I floated the idea of getting together while we are there and both wives love the idea. Nothing is set in stone but it’s looking promising.
The concern I have is that in the pictures I have seen, I don’t particularly find the other wife attractive. In person, it might be different when we are together but as of right now, it might turn into her and I watching her husband with my wife. Is that fair to her?
Some people, myself included, take bad pictures. Depending on your taste, personality can go a long way. My wife brought up a friend that was visiting as a possibility. It was a hard pass for me. She came over just to hang out, and before I knew what was going on we were all going at it. Never had a sexual thought about this person prior to that night. So it can be more than a physical attraction.
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Agreed on all fronts. My wife recently introduced me to a friend of hers that I didn't find attractive at all. After spending an evening with them, I definitely would have taken it to the next level. The lady was sweet, charming, bubbly, and a little naughty. She came off as very sexy after meeting her. On the flip side, there's another couple we met where I thought the girl was super adorable and the girl and my wife are into each other. That said, my wife straight up told me "that's never going to happen" because she doesn't find the other guy attractive at all, even after we've hung out with them a few times. She's not going to take one for the team, nor should I expect her to.
I think it's fairly common, even if meeting across state lines, that there's no guarantee of play. I'd set up a safeword with your wife that if you're not feeling it, you guys politely call it a night after a few drinks.