I've posted here before but it's been a long time. I don't know if it's considered full swinging, but me (29F, pansexual) and my boyfriend (28M, bisexual) have toyed with the idea of threesomes/foursomes/pairing up with another couple. We have done one FFM threesome and the experience was nice but after the fact the other girl made it weird so we took a break. We constantly talk about boundaries, my comfort, and my needs because I'm the one who was hesitant, and find myself hesitant seemingly randomly.

My boyfriend has always been respectful. One of our major boundaries (set by me and agreed to by him) is no solo play, so no going off with some random person alone type thing. We do things together as a couple. My boyfriend always directs girls interested in him in my direction and it always starts with "Thanks but I'm spoken for, I have a girlfriend." And depending on how the girl reacts from there depends on the next move. He is very interested in seeing me with other girls. That's his goal. And I have no issues with that. My issue always lies when she girl shows complete interest in him after she knows what's happening, and I get very jealous. I'm hesitant the girl will step over a boundary I have and I'm not nice when that happens.

We have a couple that we are friends that are in the scene with where we "joke" about playing together (the joke is more like who's gonna make the first move to make it known out loud). I showed up to our local rive bar we hang out at on the weekends and see my boyfriend d and the wife of the couple talking about me to the new female bartender. She had bought my boyfriend a shot and complimented him on his looks and he immediately told her he was spoken for. I walk in and both my boyfriend and the wife friend greet me, pull me up to the bar, and immediately introduce me to the bartender. She's really nice, very sweet. Here's where it weighs on my mind and I'd like to know if it's just my possessive tendencies getting to me:

We had a bunch of drinks, got home, had a few more, and he told me the story about how I came up in conversation, but the story was told twice and they were different.

First story: he told me he got to the bar, ordered a drink, and the bartender asked if she could buy him a shot. He accepted, and after their shot that's when she complimented him. He told her he had a girlfriend and she said "I know you do, and I think your girlfriend is really hot." In like an insinuating sort of way.

Second story: it's the same up until the part that he told her he had a girlfriend. Only in this story she went "Girlfriend?" And he said "yeah, you e seen her here before. We are always here together. She's either by my side or the side of her friend over there (pointing). She wears a cut, her name is Hiccup, you can call her Ashley" (he rides with an LEMC) and she went "I don't think I've seen her" and he pulled up a photo of me and showed her to which she complimented me as well.

When he drinks he genuinely can't remember some things that happen, so I'm not debating that he's lying to me, I'm debating how the bartender actually feels about me. I wanna believe she's interested in US, but half of me thinks she was really disappointed to find out about me. Like I said when I wanted I to the bar him and our wife friend immediately introduced me and complimented my looks like "isn't she beautiful" and so on and we shook hands from actoss the bar. And he asked me quietly what I thought about the bartender. I was in a terrible mood so I walked away to see my friend and pretty much sat in a corner all night. Next time we go to that bar I plan to spend a little more time AT the bar so I can talk to her more and gauge one way or another. I'm not a super social person, and my boyfriend is so I'm worried I gave a terrible first impression also.

Does anyone else get into their own head about theae kinds of things when you werr the one to slow it all down?