Newbie here from Switzerland. My wife (f31) and I (m34), together now 15 years and 11 years married with 2 kids, talked a lot lately about our fantasies and we came to the decision that we want to try to find a couple for everything to explore what can't be explored with only two. We never had any other sexual partners beside us and discovered a lot together, which gave us a strong bond. We talked a lot about it and we both share the same fantasies and we already have a great relationship and we both think it will amplify it even more. We both agreed, we're gonna try it when our kids are a bit older so they can be unsupervised in the evenings. We now have two questions.
How likely is it that we find a similar couple like us with a strong bond for a longer lasting friendship? Or is this something not to be desired in the LS?
And the other is, my wife is in psychological treatment for childhood trauma, which already helped her a lot. She's now unsure, if she should mention our desicion to the therapist. We already decided we won't say anything to someone, even to close friends about our decision but she's unsure about the therapist. She fears the therapist would not recommend it because it's socially not acceptable and because she'd eventually not relate(not everyone's cup of tea after all) and so would advise against it from the start. To her it's also an insanely private thing, and our talks have all gone very well and she doesn't feel insecure about this at all.
Thanks in advance!
We're having a playdate in a week with a couple, we now consider as friends, but they are from america and only visiting us for a weekend. We're still looking for FWB couples and we actually talked a bit with some others but nothing more so far. With the kids, everything is proceeding slowly.
We need to set up lot of stuff for a play, like time, organize a babysitter and so on. So a lot of things to set up, which makes it even more slow. We're planning on visiting a club end of November and we will see, how this will work out. We have one in reach within 20 minutes drive.
If you want to talk more, you can shoot us a dm.
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M here. We fantasized a few years about a mfm and a few weeks ago, we started actually talking about making it happen after a dream of her. After that we both came to the decision, we should look for a couple because having a single male or female with us creeped us out. So we talked a lot and set our boundaries and what could be ok for us both. It always ended up with extreme hot sex. I personally do fancy the thought, seeing her enjoyment with another man and i imagine having sex with her after another women as incredible. After all, she's the one i married and she will be the one i go home with again.
Wife here! I fully understand and can to a certain degree say I share some of your insecurities. The thought of him with another woman is only a nono to me if he actively went around my back and kept it a secret. I havn't actively been in that situation yet, so that's still untesed territory to me though. My advice would be as a fellow newbie; brutal honesty and loooots of talking. We have gotten to the point of making our list of rules, spoke about what we'd be uncomfortable with etc...and since this topic began between us, we can barely keep our hands off each other. It's not better than before, we've always had an active and fulfilling sex life, but now? It feels like a level up. As to the 'love' feeling; I see it that way. No other woman will be able to replace you and the role you play in his life as the mother of his children, wife and his best friend:) All the insecurities you wrote out I would also show to your husband for you two to talk about.