Years in the lifestyle have taught us a couple things men should know as they begin.

First, when you’re playing with a couple, be aware that they are most likely using you as a “tool” or a “toy” to fulfill their fantasies and give each other fun and pleasure. They are NOT likely to be trying to fix a problem or find a guy who is “better” in some way than the hubby. Unless they specifically say they are looking to play out a cuck fantasy, don’t approach them as if you’re superior to the man. Understanding the dynamic of the couple with is key to playing with couples.

Second, it’s not about your penis—so leading with a photo of your penis (no matter how gorgeous it may be) is not helping you. In fact, it hurts. It suggests you have an extremely limited, unimaginative, and boring approach to erotic play. You have a whole body, as do your potential play partners, which offers a vast amusement park of sexual exploration and fun. You also have a mind, and it’s your greatest asset in sexy play.

Leading with your penis—either in photo or description—also suggests you see the encounter as all about you and your pleasure. That works against you.

You will have infinitely more fun in the lifestyle when you begin showing that you know playing is about SO much more than inserting a penis in a hole, that your penis is not a magic wand that everyone craves, and that you’re very interested in pleasing your play partners.

Of course, there will be exceptions you can find that contradict this advice, but your odds are better (we believe) if you take the advice to heart. Good luck!