Posted on asoneafterinfidelity but got down voted to hell and back. Seeing if you guys are more constructive.

So some of you might be following my story but if you haven't check my post history.

I'm the WP, my partner is the BP. The basics of it is that I had 2 affairs at the beginning of our relationship and never told him until a new PA from recently and an ongoing EA came to light. One of the things he told me that he would need to heal was to basically have a relationship. Experience a true relationship because he felt like I never really tried with him.

Rewind to 2020, before the affairs came to light, I suggested we open up the relationship. I had done some soul searching and came to terms with the fact that I'm actually polyamourus along with being bisexual. So we started to let me see other girls. No guys though. We both started using dating apps and I began also looking to bring women into our relationship. My dream would be to have a polycule. He agreed to this the entire time. One of the rules was that I had to be completely honest about who I was with regarding this poly situation. I was up until I had my PA new years 22. But we're not talking about my affair here.

He was having a hard time getting matches and actually meeting women. Not entirely sure why but he didn't have the best pictures so that could have been it. Where I was having all kinds of luck. I went on a few dates and got to be with other women. I was also mainly looking for myself and not looking for a unicorn (a magical girl for a three-way).

Throughout this reconciliation process, we've both kept our dating apps and have been using them like we normally have. One difference is that I have switched to being a couples account and have strictly been looking for unicorns now. Not looking for myself anymore. He on the other hand has continued looking for himself. But all his matches have only ever led to talking, nothing more. That is until recently.

Last week, he matches with this one girl and they start talking and hitting it off. I'm part of the process of talking to the girls so this isn't unusual to me. He then actually sets up some time and meets with her. I am mostly shocked that this is actually happening so I'm like yeah sure go have fun thinking that maybe nothing will happen, maybe something would happen. Well it happened. They fucked. And like I think in other circumstances I would have been fine with it because it's sorta a fetish thing for me but now it's like this just isn't setting right with me and I'm super conflicted now. On one hand it was hot hearing details but on the other I'm upset that he was with someone else but on the other hand I feel like I deserve it. And he also said it's what he'd need to feel like he could start healing.

Idk why Im even saying something here. Probably because I don't have anyone to talk to In Person right now. My therapy appointment isn't until next week and I'm not sure I want to tell my therapist about any of this.