Posted on dedicatedwives but it's an even smaller sub.

We're 6 months out from DD and I'm completely failing my BP. I thought I had been making progress but... I haven't done anything to actually progress with him. I guess I've just been making personal progress with my therapist? Idk I doubt that too.

I can't remember shit. Its almost seeming that if I don't deem something important then I just don't remember it at all....

Before the affair came to light I was diagnosed with ADHD and borderline personality disorder. It's almost no wonder the perfect storm these create to lead to an affair after being untreated for so long.

One thing that I'm trying to deal with right now is that I ignore the problem until it gets brought back up again and then I have nothing to say and hope it goes away for another long period of time. My BP has called me out for it multiple times now.

Another way I'm failing him is that my mindset hasn't really changed. I understand that what I did was wrong but I can't shake the feeling that I was justified or that it's not all my fault. It's really bitchy of me to think that I know. How dare I have that opinion? But I do. And I can't get rid of it.

He hasn't gone to see a therapist or a couples counselor so it's all on me to do the work. But how can I when I still have the above thoughts? How can I when I still trigger him daily?