Me and my wife have been together for 13 years. We were very young when we met. We had a daughter when we were 17. We struggled but we made it. We blossomed. She is the love of my life. Imagining a life without her is unbearable. She cheated on me about a month and a half ago. She was telling me she was unhappy, telling me I wasn’t affectionate. And I take that blame. I wouldn’t listen to her. I truly did start to take her for granted. So she found a guy she worked with, she became really close. They had a lot in common and she told me that he was giving her what she wanted from me. She said it was a moment of weakness and she had sex with him. She said at that point she didn’t care. I feel like she was truly genuine with Her apology. With some time, (2 days, )she communicated about the whole thing, answered all of my questions. You could tell that it was taking its toll on her, and I was very angry at the time, so it was rough but she seemed transparent and honest. Told me how she felt so bad, in great detail, how she fucked up and is just waiting for me to tell her to leave. Since then, we decided to work things out. I’ve been doing horribly. Substance abuse, suicidal thoughts and threatening. Very manic behavior. I took a toll on her, but the pain that I’m in is like no other. I told my family which I probably shouldn’t have done, but I really needed support at the time. And she has even talked to all my family members about it. Apologizing about everything. It was really shameful feeling, but it was awesome because it was nice to see her trying. Idk but it makes me feel like she really wants me back. I’ve never felt this way, to be so betrayed by someone you trusted with everything. We took a night apart, I stayed over at my moms, and it felt good. I’m starting to manage my feelings a bit better, but the paranoia is unreal. I’m thinking everything. I’m thinking she’s sleeping with my co-workers, friends, everybody. I just need some help navigating through this web of paranoia. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.