9:44 PM the night before DD, shortly after my husband got to work he texted AP. I, after not hearing from him for a while, I texted him. At some point I had said “I miss you” and he said “me too”. While basically, simultaneously texting AP “I fucking miss you and I miss fucking you” anytime he texts me saying “me too” I am immediately triggered.

For background My WP would text AP only when he was at work (third shift 9pm-5am) and would only ever see her fast on the way home when I was asleep.

This brought my therapist to ask me “do you have boundaries around these things, like him not saying “me too” during this portion of healing?”

I’m open to hearing any and all suggestions…although I will say I have really have a fear that the websites and apps to see what your WP is doing on their phone will create a false sense of security because at what point do you stop using it? Then do you get anxious all over again? So he’s 110% willing to do it, it’s me who is ehh about it. During the entire affair we had always shared locations and had open phones anyway so these are also not things that help.

What types of boundaries or rules have been set in your relationship post DD? What types of things were non-negotiable for you? Wondering if I’m missing anything! Happy to hear from a WP too! Thanks in advance everyone!