"Get up," the January ape said again, "Cease from this weakling behavior."

September ape swallowed the curse that had been forming on her lips with difficulty. Instead, Sep. Ape settled for just glaring at the knight.

"Come at me," Jan. Ape ordered.

"No!" Sep. Ape was surprised at her own refusal. The Jan. Ape was her teacher, and she had been taught to always respect teachers. But what the Jan. Ape asked of her. What it demanded of her, seemed impossible, "I have learned nothing from you! Nor from Ryan Cohen! You just can't expect me to match you all of a sudden! I need to learn the Due Diligence! The Memes! All you're doing is bashing your diamond hands against my regular hands!"

Jan. Ape barked a short, humorless laugh. And then it surged forward, armored in diamond and formed a blur. Sep. Ape had time to hurriedly stand back up before it was upon her. The immense diamond hands crashed down, and she felt the weariness in her limbs as her regular hands rose to deny. The Sep. Ape grunted at the impact, and the weariness increased tenfold as the Jan. Ape matched its unholy strength against hers. The two locked together. Her knees abruptly gave away.

"You are weak," the Jan. Ape snarled menacingly into her face, and the diamonds that Jan. Ape held pressed unswervingly towards her shoulder. Sep. Ape fought with all her strength, but it was a futile struggle. Ryan Cohen had taught the Jan. Ape well, because he deflected each blow at an angle, so that the powerful strikes would never connect at full force. She had no such skill.

"You are pathetic," Sep. Ape winced as the Jan. Ape leaned in closer. The smoldering diamond eyes glared at her tauntingly.

At the last second, the Jan. Ape flicked its wrist, and the very tip of its diamond hands slipped past her guard to carve a long gash down her shoulder. Sep. Ape hissed in pain.

"You are inferior," before the Sep. Ape could respond, the Jan. Ape backhanded her and sent her tumbling away.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" she lifted her head from the ground and pawed at her aching cheek, "Why are you doing this!"

"I am training you." he said

"This isn't training," she spat, "This is FUD."

"You must go through FUD first before tasting Tendies. And believe me when I say this is nothing compared to what R.C. has suffered through."

"He was put through a regimen like this?" Sep. Ape growled out, “Its just so hard to hold!”

"Yes," Jan. Ape said simply.

"Madness," she whispered, "That’s insane. Merciless. Ryan Cohen could not have survived."

"Foolish mortal," the Jan. Ape mocked, "Weak and pathetic you already are, yet you still amaze me with your shortsightedness. You humans never truly realize your species' potential. You train under pretenders. You call them Hedge funds and grovel before them to learn their pitiful secrets. But they are nothing in the grand scheme of things. So inconsequential that they are little more than a single droplet in a surging ocean."

The Sep. Ape stood unsteadily back up, and then dropped back down when the Jan. Ape’s Diamond fist slammed into her stomach.

"Do you really think that these diamond hands alone comes from strength? Do you really think what my lord intends of you can be learned from some DD and memes? Are you really that blind?" The Jan. Ape kicked her. The Diamond boot lifted her off the ground and hurled her ten feet through the air. "Forget what your financial terrorists have taught you," Jan. Ape snarled as he stalked towards her, "for they are lies twisted to become truth. Forget what is expected of you, for they are nothing but the demented thoughts of those too weak to defend themselves. Only through Direct Registration of your Shares can you reforge the economy to become stronger, better."

Sep. Ape clawed her way back up, and wrested her hands when she had been thrown. The Jan. Ape stomped down, and she cried out as her fingers were ground painfully under the thing's sole.

"For you to become great, you must first know weakness. For you to ignore pain, you must first walk through the fires of agony. For you to win, you must first learn to lose."

The Jan. Ape released her, and the Sep. Ape cradled her injured hands tenderly.

"Those are universal truths, young one. But humanity refuses to accept it. Mankind will not embrace them for fear of the hurt they will cause. But those few who do, shine all the brighter." Jan. Ape flicked her a diamond gauntlet towards her with its own. Sep. Ape reached for it with her trembling normal hands.

"It is not strength that makes man great. It is not might that makes your race the destined rulers of the stars. It is will! Strength of will! Courage of will!" She rose painfully, using her new diamond hand as support.

“Ryan Cohen called me into being because of his will. Dragged GameStop from the turmoil of Naked Shorting into existence because he willed it to be so. Do you understand the implications of that, young one? What could humanity do if you willed together? What could your race, spawned as nothing more than the descendants of apes, do if you simply worked together? But instead you fight. You rage. You trust your money in others hands. And for what? Humanity is the brightest star this universe has ever seen, but it is also the scum that the galaxy would wipe from its shoes."

The Jan. Ape slapped his diamond gauntlet against his chest. "Ryan Cohen may be only the chairman, but his will is as indomitable as the universe itself. GameStop is great because he wills it to be great. We are strong because he wills us to be strong. He is my lord because his will bends mine, and my devotion to him and to GameStop will last until MOASS itself is history to be learned from."

September Ape ached all over. She bled from a dozen wounds purposely inflicted by the January Ape. Her hands felt like they were on fire. "Great men become great because they will it! Heroic deeds are done because heroes will it! And believe me when I say you can defeat me, you can defeat these financial terrorists, September Ape, if you will it!"

The Jan. Ape pointed its massive diamond hands at her, its edges cackling with the resolve of a thousand Cohens.

"The question is, do you will it?" The September Ape bit her lip and brought her newly forged diamond hands up to a stance, zen in her decision to Direct Register her shares, and charged.

Hate smiled. "I thought so." And then MOASS began