I’ve made so many mistakes. Literally every choice I’ve made has been a bad one and cost me. I chose to move to my dad’s after years of convincing me just to abuse me for 2 years and secluded me from the entire world. I have such vivid nightmares of them so often I just give up now when I have them.

I’ve not taken jobs based on pay but then got stuck in a field I hated and made myself miserable dealing with the worst conditions breaking my body over and over again. I worked through so many concussions, sprained ankles, and because of this I struggle to ever get comfortable in any position i sit or lay in.

I feel like the biggest failure and cannot ever stop and breath. I’m always in the middle of chaos and I have just gone beyond my breaking point. I’m literally just giving up and feeling so much more numb. I just need a break. I’m so stressed I am so tired. I’m so tired.