I've been sitting here thinking about how nice it would be to never feel again. I'm daydreaming or possibly delusional as I'm high as a fucking kite right now. Thinking of how nice it would be to never have to feel or think about anything ever again.

I'm smiling and tears of joy streaming down my face about finally doing it.

Don't cry when I'm gone. I'm the biggest piece of shit that's ever existed.

To the people I love, thank you for being good to me. I didn't deserve you.

To my mother, I'm sorry that you saw me in this condition. There's a great sadness I've felt for a long time and even though you have always been my light in the dark. The darkness won. You don't deserve this. You never deserved all the bad you were given in this life and it breaks my heart to tell you that your son is going away and couldn't take it anymore.

You are the person I have loved the most and wanted to do everything I could to give you the life you deserve.

No funeral for me. Just cremate me and leave me like the trash I am. I deserve nothing less.

I just want peace. I just don't want to feel anymore. :)