So let’s start at the beginning, from the age of 3 my parents separated, father cheated and left three kids on their own with a single mother. The woman he cheated on my mum with abused us horrifically until we stopped seeing her after about 8 years. Never received counselling or support so this was buried. fast forward five ish years and my home life is completely destroyed. I fell in love and everything seemed happy for a year or two. I ended the relationship with hopes to be happy but instead my mother became a narcissist, controlling me, overpowering me and dictating my life. My stepfather stood there and became the same. This continues to now and even continues in comments and daily thoughts. I’m constantly controlled and told what i can and can’t do at the age of 18. I started my own business thinking it would be great but now I am left a in an endless cycle of no self worth. Constantly down because it’s not working the way it should, the constant negativity from my family that I will not succeed the constant digs and comments about me and how i’m a screw up and that I will never succumb to anything. I’ve lost my job at my part time work for eating an item of food. I can’t eat because it makes me feel guilty and then i’m constantly worrying about my partner too. I love my partner and she loves me, she is going out soon and is going to get drunk and i’m scared i’m not going to be her choice, and she is going to tell me something bad happened. I’m being stupid i know because we are madly in love but this kind of stuff really makes me worry and hurt myself. I started cutting and making marks to feel better. I hate it. I lost my best friend last year and nothing has felt the same since, I need to get out of this endless cycle as yesterday i tried to end things in my car. I stopped myself. I’ve not spoken about this to anyone in my family because none of them will understand. They will shut it down and make it something about them. I’m in a financial mess. I’ve got no income. I’m running a business and a car I can’t afford and my rich stepfather now controls my bank accounts and when I ask for help I get told it’s my own fault and i should sort it on my own. I’m struggling with daily tasks and everything in daily life. I have to put a cover on my self to look normal and I can’t keep doing it, i’m sick of hiding and shaming I am in need of some support here and would really envy anyone who might be able to help because this is getting ti much.