I can't kill myself because the Fort Bend county sheriff's office and Texas is a hellish state. I would move but my mom is a poor single mother and I can't help her. I just can't wait till my mom does die so I can finally commit suicide and be happy. I lost my ex boyfriend Brendan and his friends Eve and Michael. I feel so suicidal without them and they don't care about me. I just wish my mom had an abortion. I'm premature birth anyways so I shouldn't be alive. I'm just bummed I was stood up again. I probably will take a nap and smoke a shitty cart when I wake up. I just wish I was never alive for my ex boyfriend and his friends to ruin my mental health more . I just wish euthanization would be legalized. I just would be happier and feel less emotional pain.