That's pretty much it, I'm not okay. Wife wanted a separation, so here we are, only day three and I'm not sure how I'm going to make it a week. I could go into all the reasons that it makes sense that she needs space, many of which are my personality traits and I'm not angry. But she needs space so that means no contact unless she reaches out. I have no idea if she's ok, I have no idea if our daughter (my stepdaughter, not adopted) is ok. I have no idea if she will want to make the separation a divorce. I have no idea if she'll just take everything away because I have no legal right to any of it. My life feels like it hangs completely in her hands and the only thing I have to control is if I'm breathing or not. If I do at least I know I'll die married to her and my daughter won't grow up hating me for not growing up with me in the same house. I know I can't do it, and I probably don't have the strength to do it but I can't pretend that it's not constantly on my mind. My lack of follow through is probably the only reason I haven't checked myself in somewhere. That and I don't want to abandon my daughter, I'm at the point I'm pretty confident my wife would mourn me for about a week and at least my parents wouldn't have another mouth to feed. I'm 28 years old ffs, I shouldn't be a burden on my parents. I've been outside I've walked around for hours I've worked out, I've gotten a therapist, nothing is making me feel any better. I just can't keep feeling this pain. But I guess I have to. Fuck.