all this shit makes me feel hopeless, lets say i had not the best classmates when i was younger, i never had many friends, when i turned a teen all went worst i started being depressed and anxious, plus more intrusive thoughts, i realized that i was a sub who probably doesnt like traditional sex (penetration) women just did fun of me, my anxiety sometimes even made me feel my chest opressed and i feel like any girl will want me i just want to have never born, my last female classmates ignored me and blamed me for doing nothing in team works while they didn't even answer me when i told them what to do, i feel like i have no worth like a piece of trash and i honestly just need a girl to hug me and tell me that she loves me