I don't normally reach out to people because of how I was raised to think of myself as not worth helping but I don't know what else to do so here I am to spill my heart and hope I'm not sure what I'm hoping but I'm tried to being quiet about all the awful stuff that keeps happening to my husband and me and I'm sick of the abuse of someone whos supposed to be my parent.

A little back story: My father hates me always has and more than proved it over the years,I've never been good enough because I'm not male and a very long list of other reasons,I have extreme anxiety and depression so I'm unable to work,my husband works 8 hours a day at a min wage job,we pay for the whole cable bill/phone bill and over half of the light bill,we also give him extra money when we have it which isn't often,we also keep the bathroom stocked with TP and we clean,my father works a seasonal job and is currently off...hes also a full time drunk and manipulator,he has a set of really awful friends who are 30 years younger than him and agree with whatever he says.

Here is what we've been dealing with: his friends are here 24/7,they all drink get way too loud and like to ride their snowmobiles and 4 wheelers near our door to scare my dogs,my father lies to them saying we say awful things about him and never help him which isn't even close to the truth,I'm honestly shaking typing this because if any of them find this post then our life is going to get way worse,if I'm using the bathroom and he doesn't like it he'll send his friends into the house to push me out of it when at this point I'm only using it twice a day(pretty sure thats not healthy),they'll stand inside to try to listen to me n my husband and then twist what we say to make it look like all we do is talk crap which we don't,he owns the land and the house and I've been told more than once theres no point in calling the cops because he owns everything and I have no rights and to be honest it'd just make matters worse for us,we can't afford to leave and have no family that can or are willing to help us get out of here,my husband is worried that even if we do finally get to leave and take our dogs that my father and his friends will just find us and keep trying to harass us,I'm at the end of my wits,I have anxiety attacks every night,every time I hear snowmobiles/4 wheelers I involuntarily shake,my dogs are almost always scared this is no life for these poor dogs and I feel bad bringing them into this had I of known it was going to just keep getting worse I would of never gotten them even though their what keep me getting out of bed still at this point,we just want peace and a safe place to live out the rest of our lives but it all feels so unreachable when we're stuck living like this,I've even been entering contests trying to win 5k a week for the rest of my life hoping to get us out of here,hes never going to change I know this but I don't know how we're going to get out of here in one piece at this rate,I'm sorry if this is hard to read it was super hard to type this out.