Today I was at a new year party and left right before 12:00 am because I felt like I was a buzzkill and that everyone would probably have a better time without me anyways. Whenever I talk I feel like I just get talked over or no one really hears. I guess my voice could be a bit soft and puts me at a disadvantage when trying to socialize. I literally left the party without saying bye to anyone, maybe because I smoked some weed too though.

Now I am at home, back at square one feeling isolated and just alone. It sucks because I really want to make more friends, but with my current thought process, it's kind of hard to conversate and make friends.

The title could be kinda contradicting, but just wanted to say Happy New Years, Hopefully this next year can be better for all of us.