Please read my previous posts to get context:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/idyt4f/i_think_quitting_is_the_only_option_left_for_me/

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/innosd/this_is_my_last_attempt_to_get_help_before_i_do_it/

This "family" has made my life even worse than it was before. As you know already know, they have completely isolated me. But it's not only that. They do whatever they feel like and completely neglect my opinions on literally everything.

For example, when they bring any fancy food (like, sweets, chocolates, etc.), they happily eat their own share and leave my "share" (which is usually much less than theirs) on the table (without telling me anything) and go about their day. When I don't eat my "share" (please note that while I used to like food 2 years ago, I don't even like having any kind of food nowadays because of the state I am in; they already know my condition but they don't care), all 3 of them start bashing me by calling me "selfish", "ungrateful", etc. Excuse me?! I feel this way because of THEM and they blame ME?! After they have finished bashing me, they happily eat my "share" without any regret.

They even cause chaos in case of COVID-19. They go out for unnecessary reasons (like shopping fancy clothes) very frequently. When they return home, I tell them to do certain things, like washing hands with soap and sanitizing certain objects (like the things they took out with them, the non-food items they have bought, the handles of doors and door knobs they have touched after coming back). But they DON'T LISTEN. They just say that I am insane for telling them to do this because "no one" in our country (India, a country where people openly cough and sneeze here and there and even throw their mucus on the road, even during this pandemic) does it. Excuse ME?! I am trying to protect THEM and they are accusing ME of being insane?! I literally have to argue with them for around 30 minutes to make them do all these things. But they still try to avoid doing it. When I firmly tell them to do all these properly, they just scream at the top of their lungs and tell me that I am insane because apparently "no one" does these things. They compare me with the other citizens of our country (the citizens who, again, don't even wear masks, openly sneeze and cough here and there, throw their mucus in the road, etc.) and say that they are much better than me and accuse me of harassing them. They literally believe that we (specifically) don't have any chance of being infected by COVID-19. When I asked them why, they could not even give any valid reason. They only accused me of saying unholy things when I tell them that everyone has a chance of being infected by COVID-19, including us. WTF?!

They constantly say that I am mentally sick for behaving in such a way and not to pay any attention to me. They even went as far as mixing anti-psychotic drugs (Olanzapine) with my food behind my back (when I refused to take this "medicine" by myself because it was severely affecting my physical and mental health in an extremely negative way) the last time they took me to the psychiatrist (who, as I have already said in my previous post, did not even listen to what I had to say and was only interested in prescribing me as many medicines as posible). They have even threatened to throw me out of the house multiple times. They say that I am just a nuisance to them.

They constantly compare me with the other citizens in literally each and every aspect of my daily life. They never ask me WHY I wake up late (please note that I cannot fall asleep before 6 a.m. everyday because of my mental state), WHY I have my meals late, WHY I don't like eating, etc. They just compare me with "everyone else" and blame ME for literally everything that is apparently "wrong" with me, from waking up to going to bed.

I have heard them talking amongst themselves about me behind my back countless times. They say that I behave this way because apparently I am "insane". They say that the reason I refuse to eat and and feel this way is because of my "hormonal changes" and not to pay any attention to me. WHAT?! You mean to tell me that I feel like shit everyday because of my "hormonal changes", because I am "insane"? You mean to tell me that I have problems with eating, sleeping, waking up, etc. because of my "hormonal changes", because I am "insane"?

And they don't even accept their fault. When I blame them for making me feel like this, they tell me that they apparently "love" me and that it is apparently MY fault for feeling this way. When I start trying to hold my ground and try to tell them that THEY are the reason I feel like shit, they, once again, start shouting at the top of their lungs that I am "selfish", "ungrateful", "lazy", "insane", "a nuisance", that apparently I am causing chaos in the house, that they'll throw me out of the house, etc. (just after a few seconds of them lying to me that they "love" me).

These 3 have now started doing something suspicious. For the last couple of days (yesterday and today), I noticed that when I go for a bath in the afternoon, my step-mother enters my room, locks the door, opens her cupboard (her cupboard is in my room), takes something out, closes the cupboard, unlocks the door, and goes straight to the kitchen (where our lunch is prepared). As far as I noticed, my father and sister know about this and don't ask her anything. So, I guess it's safe to say that all 3 of them are involved in this act. I don't exactly know what they do but after having my lunch (yesterday and today), I started to feel SO AWFUL. I have a headache, feel dizzy, can't stand properly on my legs and I can't even think clearly. I think they are, once again, mixing some kind of drugs in my lunch before giving it to me (as they did before). What the HELL should I do?

As I have already said, I just want to die (even those 3 know about this but they don't care). I think leaving this existence is the only way I'll ever get peace. But the thing is that there is a high chance of me surviving my suicide attempt and being arrested by the police (there is such a law in India, which I have already mentioned before) and living the rest of my life with some kind of disability. I am completely trapped. What should I do?