I (16M) currently live in India with my father, step-mother and elder sister. I heard that my biological mother prayed to God (I am an atheist while my family is religious) for having a son (for no particular reason, she just wanted to have a son). You must think that my mother really loves me right? No. You are wrong. She divorced my father and left us (including me) two years ago. We were a broken family then. We are still a broken family now.

Now, I currently have severe depression, anxiety, OCD, insomnia, orthostatic hypotension and intermittent explosive disorder. I have lost my hunger, my sleep (I sleep at around 5:00 am everyday) and my happiness (or rather blissful ignorance). I do not go to school. I simply cannot because according to me, it's just meaningless. School is just a place where there is only mindless competition. The "students" just compete with each other in the exams to get more marks (by rot-learning and forgetting everything after giving the "exams") and brag about it. They do not actually gain any "knowledge" (as it is called by the society).

For the past few months, I have realised some painful truths regarding this world and life. I will not write all of them here because it'll be too long but in short, I have realised that we are all going to die someday but people in this world still keep on breeding (in a dying planet which is full of chaos) and create problems and chaos for the others. They don't give a fuck about others. They only care about themselves.

I went to a couple of psychologists and a psychiatrist for depression. The psychologists just kept on saying bullshit like life is worth living, that you have to fight, etc. and did not even listen to my points. The psychiatrist just gave me a couple of medicines and a dozen of tests because "he wanted to see why I could not understand reality". WTF? You know what? My parents did exactly as the doctor said despite of me telling them that the doctor could not understand me. When I started my medication, I felt so awful that I could not even think about ANYTHING. The medicines just made my mind handicapped. I told my parents about this. But they just said that I HAVE to continue the medication because the DOCTOR gave it me (the same psychiatrist who did not even understand me). I finally stopped taking the medicines after a HUGE chaos in our house.

A few months ago, we went out for shopping. My family pressurized me to go and talk with a salesman despite knowing that I have social anxiety. My father just said, "How the hell will you take care of me when I get older?" That day, I realized my purpose in life. It was to become a slave to my parents.

Whenever I try to talk to my "family", they just keep on ignoring me. They just tell each other to not pay any mind to what I say and that I am insane. They don't even care about me. Everyone in this family (except me) has someone or the other to share their feelings with (and they do it all day). My sister has her friends and boyfriend. My father has his friends and step-mom. My step-mom has my father (she only cares about him and herself).

They don't even take COVID-19 seriously. All 4 of us have had symptoms of COVID-19 (one after another) but only I took it seriously and wore a mask whenever I was near them. I repeatedly tell them to wear a mask while being near each other, wash hands after sneezing and coughing but they don't listen. My step-mother is strictly anti-mask (while still having the symptoms of COVID-19). Whenever I tell them that there is a chance that we might have caught COVID-19, they just simply say that I am pessimistic, that I am insane, that I am saying unholy things, etc. and shout at me. They are full of shitty ideas. They believe in trash like homeopathy and superstitions (both of which I hate). Whenever I try to tell them that these things are illogical, they just start bashing me and tell me to keep my "beliefs" to myself and don't tell them about it.

A few days ago, we had an incident where my father and I got slightly injured. But my sister and step-mother just tended to my father. They gave him medicines and ointments and sympathized with him. They didn't even look at my injuries. I could not even walk properly for a few days because of my injuries. They absolutely did not give a damn about me. It seemed like I was non-existent.

This "family" has completely isolated me ever since I started trying to tell them my thoughts and how I feel. I am completely lonely in this selfish and cruel world.

You know what? I did not sign up for this. I can't eat, sleep, etc. without thinking about how people just keep breeding for such selfish reasons. I think I am going insane because of this hatred. I just want to die. But the problem is that there is a law in my country (India) that people who attempted suicide and survived, will be arrested. The Indian society just cares about staus and money. They just want to breed and force their children into becoming doctors, engineer, lawyers and pilots so that they have enough money to take care of their parents. Everyone in here just cares about getting rich, settling down and having children (who are supposed to be taking care of their "parents" and listen to them at once; basically slaves). Please help me. What the hell should I do?