I'm posting this from my 2nd account cause my little brother uses reddit, and I don't want him finding out.

I'm lonely. So lonely. I have a wonderful family that loves me and takes care of me even though I'm already 19. I've had only one girlfriend which lasted less than 5 months, and yes, she broke up with me. I've downloaded tinder, and the one girl I was really hitting it off with just ghosted me, out of the blue. I have sone matches from time to time (1/2 per week) but the last two just talked for a couple minutes then left me on read. I miss human affection so much. I've started taking antidepressants and they help, but just a little bit. I'm slacking off with my studies and have a lot of work ahead of me if I want to pass this semester. I just, want, need, some love. I miss falling asleep with my ex in my arms, and the sex, I miss the sex so much. I just want someone to love me but I don't even love myself. I'm overweight and ugly, and I'm insecure about every aspect of mine.

A couple of weeks ago I first tried to slit my wrists, not seriously, but to feel how it will feel when I actually do it. If I do it.

I'm afraid to die. I don't wanna die yet. I'm fucking 19, my whole life's ahead of me, but still, if I'm gonna die alone, then why not sooner rather than later?

Sorry for posting a bible about me, myself and I, but I just had to get this out of my chest. I don't expect anyone to read it and comment, but just writing it down helps a lot. So thanks.