Im 25 and I am not a functional adult. I am married to a man and I married him at age 20. I wanted to run away from my parents, thinking literally anything was better, so I married him. Age 20 was a complicated time because I was changing a lot in my beliefs. However I still wasn't completely developed in them and still thought marrying him was the better situation. I changed a lot but the biggest change was religion. I used to be Christian, now I am not. I want nothing to do with going to church every week. My husband is a Church of Christ too, and I didn't realize the extent of how bad they were going to be. It took me a few months for it to sink in on how they truly were. The church argument has been a conflict since week 2 of marriage and both of us are unwilling to budge. I hate going to church and he would like me to go to church because "he feels lonely when I'm not there". I hate dealing with his family and church friends' bigotry too and I have to keep my mouth shut on even the tiniest things because to do so otherwise is "making a scene". I imagine my sweet death almost every single day. I hate my life so much. I would kill myself with a gun and my note would say "Fuck God. Jesus isn't Real. I am Bisexual. Don't Call me She." Except I can't actually do that because I have no idea if I could actually pull it off without me accidentally not killing myself and also I have a 2 year old and I am pregnant (unknown number of weeks due to not visiting the doctor yet).