Title says it all. I've lost every ounce if hope in my body today. Started when my dad called me a lazy son of a bitch after not going out early to feed our livestock. The day before I had my hours cut to pretty much nothing. I saw my ex gf had company over at her house tonight and I feel like my mom is disappointed and ashamed of me. I'm just the biggest disappointment in this cold hearted fucking world. I can't take the pain anymore. I can't take the sleepless nights, crying myself to sleep, or the fact I can't stand to be a disappointment to my family. I'd be better to them dead than living at this point. I'm just a hopeless freak who should be dead 3 times over. No one will miss me, no one misses the losers. I'm going to try to sleep on it and decide after therapy tomorrow if I can find some kind of hope.