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I have lost all my motivation. I wake up. sit around and smoke weed and scroll the internet until i fall asleep and then wake up and repeat. I quit my job because i hated it, i hate being unemployed and broke as well. Im a burden to my girlfriend and if it wasnt for her, id just be burdening my mom. life is just so unappealing to me. Its such a monotonous thing. theres so much shit that you "have" to do to be considered functioning that i dont want to do. I hate doing laundry. I hate washing dishes. I dont even like showering until i can smell myself. Im have no monetizable skills. The only thing i have going for me is that for some reason people dont see how worthless i am and seem to like me. Im trapped under a mountain of student debt that didnt even result in a degree because I ended up giving up because why bother. I held a full time job for a year and I was more "stable" than ive ever been and still incredibly unhappy. spending 40 hours a week between my job and commuting just made me feel like a robot. where do people find the motivation to exist? I constantly fantasize about dying, getting hit by a car, or just not waking up. The only reason I don't kill myself is because I don't think my ma could handle it and I can't do that to my lil brother and sister but I just really really dont want to live anymore.
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- 7 years ago
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- reddit.com/r/SuicideWatc...