I am plagued by mental illness. Everything I say is the wrong thing. I don’t know how to function in this world at all. I have been battling mental illness my whole life, and it hasn’t improved at all. Like not at all. Nothing helps. Trust me, I’ve tried everything. Everything I can afford. I see no worthy reason to continue to exist. I’ve smoked weed for a long time, and it doesn’t kill the pain like it used to. When I do smoke weed I feel like I’m dying. No one is able to help. I am middle aged and I have nothing. Everything I’ve ever loved has been taken away from me. There’s no joy to be found in this world. I’m so sick of being a burden and asking for help. It makes me feel pathetic.