Hi. Today at around 3pm i plan to kill myself. I had spent a month and a half flirting and constantly talking with someone, I told them that I think I love them while we were both high and they told me that they don’t want to pursue a relationship with me.

I want to state that the reason I want to is not because of them. But rather what happened. I feel like a failure each and every day because i’m still at home and not at University.

I had spent a month and a half at uni in the summer, and I was in heaven. I was free, i was myself, i had friends. Then it’s gone, pulled away and I am back at home. I thought she represented that I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. That i’ll still be depressed but at least she’d always be there.

I’m tired of the cycle of every time I feel like im finally ‘home’ it’s taken away.

I don’t want my family to see my body the way it will be. I’m going to call 911 so they can come take care of it before anyone else. The rope and the place to hang said rope should be sturdy enough. I don’t know what i’m expecting to get out of me posting this. But I want to tell somebody.

EDIT: I’m alive.