25m - dropped out of university in 2021 because couldn't handle it from being autistic, been unemployed living in my depressing isolated small town with my nan ever since, failed attempting many jobs since, had to quit trees because i got dp/dr, now dp/dr makes daily life hell, no friends here and most ones i had dropped me or ghosted me for no reason, virgin with a longing for physical intimacy and sex, no family who i can relate to or who understand me, got hand pains i've waited all year to see a specialist about and likely won't get any treatment for because my country's health service is underfunded so had to give up most hobbies from that, used to volunteer at a charity shop but eventually got bored from dp/dr and my deteriorating anxiety levels.

Didn't ask for this life and i'm sick of it. All the people in my life have it better than me, or don't care enough to even respond to messages or make plans. There is no luxury or enjoyment to living with depersonalization/ derealization, anxiety, autism, loneliness, no sex etc. Only still here because i don't want to make my nan sad and it's too difficult to exit this world without a lot of physical pain and prep. Thanks, I hate it here...