28m, came here years ago with another account, tryed again to continue, tryed new things, all for nothing, again. This time I don't see how I can make it. Since sunday I can barely move, slept more than half of the week, did nothing. 10 years ago I left my shithomeland and my abussive family, hoping a better life, promessed myself to be a good person, all for nothing, being good add nothing. 10 years of loneliness, 10 fucking years, if I were a girl my life would have being awesome, but no, I'm a shitty short men so fuck off, If you are not good enought no one want you. Not good enought and a shit contry full of dumbass racist pretending that dscrimination don't exist here, suprise pikachu face eveytime you show them the truth, omotenashi my fuckng ass. So many effort to integrate, for nothing. What is wrong with me, why every other foreigner here, who can't give a shit about the contry, only speak english, are all happy and have a easy life, only assholes rules

Whatever I try I never feel better or feel any happiness, I can't enjoy anything, I can't become what I want, and I will never, I hate myself, and I will never manage to stop

I just want the strenght to do it, now, no more worries and waste of time. Anyway baby cat will be happy with someone else

Can't wait for the cheap "you can do it" wrote by idiots without problems, nothing changed here right