i’m ready . i keep doing stupid shit that has high risk of me getting SAd or even killed bc i really don’t care if i were to die anymore. might as well have fun until i’m dead yk ? i’ll definitely end it if i’m feeling the same way by the time i’m 26/27 (21F) . i can’t provide for myself , i have no money , no job , no friends . i’m so tired of trying and getting nowhere . i don’t even drive bro . i’m so lame and it’s really hard to find the motivation to change that since when i try i fail. no one’s really hiring in positions i’m eligible for in my area , so i have to learn to drive so i have more access to different jobs . i want to scream and cry and get obnoxiously high until i can’t feel anymore . probably my plans for tonight .