I have been greatly depressed for the last 3 years and the last 6 months I have been mental hell. My house is falling apart, can't afford the car I had to buy because both of ours failed, can't afford the daycare so my wife had to quit her job because we paid more for the daycare than she made because she had to take a day for the kids doctor. Every night I go to bed hoping I don't wake up. When I wake up I drive my hour to work hoping I hit something, a deer twice and still here, or wreck, rolled it 3 rolls and still got up and still went to work. I quit wearing a seat belt prior to these and it didn't help. I electrocuted myself and woke up an hour later after shitting my pants. I just don't want to be here. I have no life insurance and feel guilty leaving my wife and kids and that's the only thing stopping me from putting a whole in my head. I've stared down the barrel of my 38 more times than I can count. I just can't bring myself to end it. I feel like it would break my wife's heart and would prove what a disappointment have always been. Does anyo anyone have any advice for coping. I just can't anymore.