For over 20 yrs of my life I suffered abuse from incest to physical, emotional, verbal abuse. I had my ex step dad, grandma, mom, cousins, aunts, all horribly abusing me from the age 5 and up. I was basically outcasted and the black sheep of the family.

I was always called a liar and accused of things I never did. I never went to school, wasn't homeschooled, I wasn't taught dental hygiene or anything else growing up.

I have watched my cousins get with guys who were complete trash, couldn't hold a job, bad teeth, never bathed etc then the same cousins would mock me, make fun of me and abuse me for the way my teeth looked and me being over 400lbs, but it was okay for them to be around 300lbs.

I have been ridiculed my entire life growing up, I am now in my 40s and have the mindset of a teenager and underdeveloped. I can't hold a job, no one will hire me. I struggle with obesity still. I found I have health issues making it harder to lose weight.

I have tried getting my life together only to be pushed down and further down from where I started.

I have tried getting a G.E.D but learned I have minor brain damage and other learning issues that keep me from progressing past 3rd grade in every subject. and would basically have to spend 15plus years learning every subject and I can't even understand 90% of what is in the books even with a tutor or free classes for G.E.D.

No one will hire me because of my weight and lack of education. Been trying to find a work from home job but they require me to have skills or experience in things I never did or don't know how to do.

All I know how to do is manual labor and my body can't handle it anymore with the obesity and the joint damage it has caused to my back, knees, feet and ankles.

I have tried for 30 yrs to lose weight but even counting calories, doing diets, working out hard in the gym, being homeless for 10 yrs etc none of it has helped or worked with maintaning a healthy weight.

I have tried for the past 10 yrs of not being homeless and tried getting a job, tried getting my G.E.D even walking 6 miles a day 5 days a week rain and shine, cold and heat. having a heat stroke in the process. Tried getting a vehicle and only to find every dime I saved had to be used for other things to survive......

Right now, I am in major debt living month to month on oatmeal, top ramen soup, lintels, frozen veggies, potatoes. barely surviving and barely able to eat and 90% of my disability check going to rent, bills, credit cards. When covid came out, it through me into major debt with the cost of everything going up and having to use my credit cards to live on. now they are maxed and even with the monthly minimum payments I will not be out of debt for years.

I have tried for the past 10 yrs to also try to find a nice woman to settle down with and be with, only to get constantly rejected or told I am trash, ugly, disgusting, nasty, mocked at, made fun of and humiliated, catfished etc.

I have no friends, no family, have nothing going for me in life. just to the point of wishing it was all over and didn't have to struggle anymore. Tired of struggling in life and having no support from anyone and always made to be unloved, unwanted, like I am nothing but trash. Can't do it anymore...